because of you

i know your all are scolding me in your blog, yup, I'vebeen a real bitch. i just suck to the core. i agree. it's fine if you hate me, go ahead, im the one at fault. i justa bloddy stupid copycat, i have no life at all. so what if i say i'm going to change? will any of you believe me? if you choose to end this friendship right now, just tell it to me, and i will not ever pester you anymore. in some ways, i'm just a pure sickening person , if you want me out of the clique, just say it, i will leave, i don't want to distrupt any of your friendship. yea, i know you hate me, all of you. everybody's just treat me coldly, i just being left aside.have it even cross your mind that i am just another human being? human beings nature is to make mistakes without realising it. and i didn't put any foundation on my face, yet your still anyhow accuse me. not blaming or accusing your, but just because my face has lesser pimples means i put foundation? i mean really, there's no logic. so what if i change my attitude and turn over a new leaf? will any of you even notice? you just will think that i'm still that bitch you all hate. i know i very ugly, i know i very fat, i never say i'm pretty nor am i skinny. why do your all have to gang up on me just like that? does our previous friendship tie means nothing to you?so what if i'm crying while reading your hatred messages and typing this message? you all will just say i am trying to gain attention or self pity even if i'm telling th truth. everything i say is just a lie in your eyes. everybody is just fucked and pissed off w me. i know i owe you all apologise. even if i sincerely apologise, will your even forgive me? your will just think i'm saying sorry just for you all to be friends and like me again. because i know i've changed. really, i seldom talk to boys, so how can i flirt? it hurts just to know how everything seems to change since last year to now. who can i rely on? who can i talk to when i'm feeling down? who can i pour out my sorrows to? nobody, i'm just a lonely girl. i've nobody to turn to , i'm always been the one who is cast aside.ii wish i can escape reality, i wish i can change school immediately. i don't even have a single friends now. jialin, if you don't want me to go your party, just say it, i know all of you don't want me to go. it's fine w me. i will only spoil the whole party.
i will go out of your life and make it seems like i never exist, because i don't deserve friends like your. i will only hurt your. sorry.
I will not make the same mistakes that i did .I will not let myself cause your heart so much misery .I will not break the way you did i fell so hard .
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far .
Because of your I will never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of your I learned to play on the safe side So I don't get hurt Because of your I find it hard to trust Not only me, but everyone around me. Because i'm alone,I am afraid I lose my way And nobody going to point it out .I cannot cry but evntually the tears just kept falling out.
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh Every day of my life .
My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with .I watched us laugh together. I heard us crying. i felt the bond we had once. I was so stupid, and i've caused everyone so much misery.Your never thought of anyone else except the clique once, your saw my pain once, And now I cry In the middle of the night For the same damn thing because i'm really sorry.



as i look back at those words that you typed for me, i wondered, what really went wrong..

}oh my mama! bloody shit sia. will be going to different class from sihui next year. arghh. i'm gonna miss her soo much. but she's gonna miss her siyuan soo much. alot of my class couples were being broke up. they kinda all go to different class. except for cler and ahem, who still remian as the same class. wish clerissa good luck, hope they can be tgt someday. hehe.anyway, although i dun have WONG SIHUI with me, i have KOH JIALIN. soo, not bad, not bad lahs. haha. at least i have another bestie with me. haha.dunnoe what to post coz it will be a long time if i need to upload the photos. soo, haiz, i dun feel like uploading it, coz i dun have the mood, the only thing i feel like doing now, is to download my songs, den get out of this damn boring house. btw, i HATE alvin, krishnan and danish. on the day of the class gathering, i had meet the parent session so i went to the skl with my parents la. then when my parents were toking to miss pou, the three of them were laughing at me. Arghh. BASTARDS. ok wateva lah. lets forget bout it. haha. someone is asking me to update my blog when i did not update it for like 3 days only. wtf. ridiculous sia. so impatient. aiyoyo. haha. okay, now i seriously have nth to say. want to know about what happen on the class gathering day, go to sihui blog. haha. byes.

}i love sihui aka. owner of xiaopiku

}After reading what sihui wrote on her blog, i have smth to say to her.

SIHUI, I LOVE YOU! WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER NO MATTER IF WE ARE IN THE SAME CLASS OR NOT NEXT

YEAR. OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NOT AND NEVER BE SO EASILY DESTROYED. WE WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER,

JUST LIKE SISTERS. (: ALSO, I HAVE A GREAT, GREAT, GREAT TIME WITH YOU IN THE PAST 10 MONTHS. YOU

ARE A REALLY TRUE FRIEND TO ME. I CAN SEE IT BCOZ YOU DON'T HESITATE TO WHEN YOU HAVE A FAVOUR

FOR ME AND ONLY TRUE FRIENDS WILL DO THAT. THATS WHY. (: YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WHENEVER

I NEEDED YOU TO BE THERE. SO I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU! LOVE YOU! MUACKS!

}Erm. Today is someone's birthday. so

happy birthday

to the person. Now dun say i never wish you happy birthday hor. haha. err.. actually dun have anything to post. just now went for lunch with birthday boy. haihai, he shy then never take photo. wat a person. then came back to post this le lor. today actually got dance but never go. who cares??haha. tuesday go then give letter then can le lor. haha. people are not updating their blog, ... , so not fun de lor. go their blog then everytime stay at the same thing de. haiz. oh ya, for get to sya that today is promotion day, so no need go sch, but have cca, which i did not go. Now at my grandma house use her house de com to post this. haha. Lecreazel haven come back from school yet so i am damn sian. haiyo. then somemore not much people online. even more sian. too bad, but today never go out with sihui, jiaqi and jialin. buu-hoo. anyway, monday, whole class moving to 4e4 coz our class is used for 'o' lvl. then i'm going to sit with

wong sihui

}Today, went to bugis with

WONG SIHUI !!

It was so damn fun taking sooo many neoprints. We went to almost every booth. Some were sooo damn cool, some were sooo not. Walked around lots of shops and went to sakae sushi for lunch. Muahaha.. We're rich. Bt after today, we were broke. Went out at around 10am. Damn it sia. 1st bus, i waited for soo damn long. Bt went it came, it was full. Haha. So sihui was so KELIAN. Waited for me for so long. It was like 10 mintues before the 2nd bus came. WHAT THE FUXK!! Bt in the end, had lots of fun. The bubble tea we bought had sooo many pearl. That is almost made me VOMIT. Then sihui somemore go buy milktea ice-cream with pearl. She's a pro. Then i rush her to finish with the ice-cream as she kept licking and not eating. Arghh. Haha. Then some of the neoprint booth, the camera was sooo damn fast that we did not manage to copy some of the pose. The in one of the booth, i

FELL AND LANDED ON MY BUTT.

Haha. Then i and sihui kept laughing. Then my mum call me after we ate to rush me home, coz it was raining heavily. Bt then she shanged her mind and ask to go back when the rain is not so heavy. So went to four leaves to buy cupcake, then we saw this:


i resisted the urge to cry, when you say forever, i realised it was just a lie.