i miss you

i never thought i would lose you

if now i cry in school,

would you still bother to care?

if i hurt myself,

accidentally or intentioanlly,

would like still walk up to me and ask if i'm alright?

everyday, we walk past each other ,

acting like a total strangers.

once you promised me that we will always be great friends even after we break up but really,

where are we now?

i kept your messages,

as a reminder to how we started out,

i really wanted time to rewind,

to be back where we were before,

to be as happy and as close as before.

everyday, i think of you.

i kept telling kh i'm scared that you have a stead.

jiamin told me you have a stead already,

i wanted to cry on the spot.

but i remained strong and told myself to not believe that.

but really..

what if it is true?

will i survive the pain?

to see you smiling and contented with another girl.

i want us to be as close at the very least,

but those seem like an impossible mission to accomplish.

i stare at you most pf the time at a distance,

i would stare in silence from far,

as the memories flash past my mind,

i wish that we can go to school and go home together again.

i wish i can laugh and talk to you,

i wish i can be assured that you will always be there for me..

but i have no confidence,

i have no gurantees nor assurance.

someone told me that you still care,

really..?

i couldn't even sense it anymore.

its only when your near, i feel i'm safe..

now your gone,

i feel insecure every single day..

i feel lost without you.

once we use to lock gaze everytime we see each other,

now ,we simply avoid each other's gaze.

i want to have to courage to love again,

but everything crashes when i think of you.

i miss you,

i want to talk to you every single time i see you,

but when i really do,

no sound comes out,

i will walk away in a rush,

and turn back to stare at you after you walk away,

as i stare at tht empty space.

i feel eeriely lonely,

i realised that for once,

this is love,

i  really mean it,

cuz your looks nor character doesn't bother me,

everyone might hate you,

talk bad things about you,

but  still, i would defend you and support you.

you might be ugly, or handsome,

but still my love doesn't change.

because in my eyes, your perfect,

like the lies i keep telling myself-

your mine forever..

if only that was true..?

if only therewere second chances..?

if only time could rewind to where we were before..?