130310

My heart will go on

13 April 2010, right, the day that everyhting simply falls spart. Both of your have to choose the exact same timing to leave me in the lurch isit? Why muz ur be so cruel towards me? What in the world had i done wrong to deserve this fate?! Was this always your plan? to hurt me together? you like to see me in a mess, isn't it? you love to see me when I'm my own worst enemy right? it pleases your when i break down huh? In your eyes, am I even a human? Do your treat me like a robot who is simply feeling-less? Do your know how much pain i've suffered within this day.I feel like giving up on life. I wanna go to a new school . I wish I can lose my memory right this instance. it so much easier to be said than done. Who truely understand me in this world, nobody?! Your treat me so good for a short period of time, than after that either treat me like a stranger or i don't even exist. Why can't your just treat me like a piece of shit from the start? At least it wouldn't have hurt me that much today. I know I did alot of stuff that hurt your. Is this call your sweet revenge? Up till now, why can't I bring myself to forget about you two? Why do your still count as the 10 most important people in my life? Why, even when I should be hating your for doing this, am I missing your like crazy? Outer pain doesn't seem to hurt me anymore. Inner pain, that can really tear me apart. You humilated me, make me lose my face, why don't I blame you at all? Your were once my motivationin life, giving me the strength and courage to live on. But now..every single light of life..? Its burned, like paper burned in the fire. What's left are only ashes, ashes that will never resume its original form. Its even less than a month, and everything just went BOOM.

Tell me this isn't reality, tell me this is just a nightmare and that i'll wake up soon and everything will be back to normal.

Should have gotten the hints already since yesterday. Have been that supid dumb fool, thinking everything was alright.Since that sms when you asked me what's wrong, I should have gotten the hints ! 4 days, that was all it took。完了，算了. i never knew that when you said it will be the last time you came to my house, it would really be true. Well , thanks for comforting me and supporting me during my weakest period before. you've done a great deal. And ya, I can't accept the treating of the milkshake and bubble tea. Please accept back the money. Take it as my last wish okay? Maybe whatever communication we had, it will cease and we'll gradually fade apart. Maybe our paths might somehow cross again, who knows? for now, thanks and goodbye. 090310 && 270210, holding memories, 我爱你。

don't really blame you for breaking the promise. it was my fault. Go and pursue your happiness elsewhere. stop being emo. be happy, for the sake of people round you. in this world, somewhere, there will always be this person who cares and supports you silently. trying to erase every single moment spent with you. the warmth of your hands, the sound of your voice, the times we used to spent together, the way you cheered me up..it was a thing of the past. i can't possibly think of it everyday. Like you say, we're not fated. sorry, i know i've blamed you and never really understood you well. an apology won't make up for everything. but you know deep down in my heart, i love you, like i've promised i would forever in your bdae card.. 090210 && 250310, those are the days within. Crashed